Blog #9--Adjustments, Adjustments, & More Adjustments

Before I start the update I need to say something far more important than my small world of FM.

This past week my close friend (since age 5) lost her step-father after a long battle with cancer. Her father was a kind man and supported all of us especially during our teen years. I remember his wedding to my friend's mom like it was yesterday and a trip to Disneyland that he took us on.

So I ask this, the next time you experience a moment of happiness, do me a favor and dedicate it to my friend's father, Ray. Ray, I know you are in a much better place and free from bodily pain. Don't worry about your family as we will take care of them and all of us will be happy to see you when it is our time to pass. All my happy moments today are for you, Ray. Be in peace.

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I know I haven't written in about a week and I apologize for that. It's been a week filled with so many adjustments that I cannot possibly list all of them here. . so this probably will be a long post.

First, I need to answer the basic question I keep getting asked 'what do they do to you at each treatment?' and the answer is it's a modified version of chiropractic adjustments and the key is not only in the modified adjustments but the frequency. We get 14 adjustments a week and for the duration of somewhere between 3-5 months. That is how long it takes for your body to 'reset' itself into the correct spinal position. Then once it's re-set you must go into a basic hibernation stage for up to a year to not knock it out of alignment. . super important. . . so I hopefully will come back feeling better but will be actually more gimped up than I was before I left (hopefully my demeanor will be improved--ha ha). .the rule of thumb is no work like sweeping, mopping, or heavy lifting. Big rule of thumb - your elbows cannot be raised over you shoulders for a *minimum* of a year. . that is far more disabling than you realize but I'm happy to comply.

Anyway, this week has been more than just physical, chiropractic adjustments. It has been one of an adjustment of attitude (hopefully for the better) and also an adjustment to my surroundings.

I was very, very depressed over the weekend and reached my breaking point on Sunday afternoon. I had a panic attack and cried for many hours -- all of which severely set back my progress. Monday morning I woke up extremely tired and begged my dad to let me skip the morning treatments. That was an academic point as soon I tried to feed my diabetic cat, Matt, and could not find him. We live in a motor home with about 200 sq. feet and we pulled this place apart. I was hysterical. I had opened the door during the night to put out some trash but I was sure I never saw him run out. Matt is a disabled cat who, aside from diabetes, is very cross-eyed and cannot see well. I knew if he had gotten out, we'd never find him. To make it worse, as I went outside in my PJs, I saw coyote tracks up to my window.

My friend from the clinic lives 3 doors down and she came out to walk to the clinic and saw me in extreme distress. She was holding me up and walking me back to my motor home (I was in a full blown panic attack) and my dad walked out just then and said he found him. That little stinker had gotten inside of the steering column of the motor home and it took us an hour to get him out. Needless to say I missed the AM treatments. However, I did get 2 in the PM and went home very worn out.

Tuesday AM I awoke and found myself extremely dizzy. If I even moved my eyes to one side or the other I would feel like I needed to throw up. I managed to get through my 2 treatments and came home and slept for a while. When I woke up the dizziness was extremely bad and even with my eyes closed I was now getting physically ill just shifting my eyes under the lids. My dad wasn't home so I called the clinic just to see if I could talk to a patient coordinator. I got a hold of Susie, who is the best office admin. I have ever met. She immediately went to get Dr. Whitcomb (the big wig, not my daily doctor). I figured he'd talk to me a bit over the phone but instead he asked for directions to my house and he & Susie were here in 10 minutes. He first gave me a lot of care by letting me sob in his arms for a bit (I am an emotional mess here so give me a break) & then he gave me an adjustment and the dizziness was gone, just like that. I was super sore but felt so relieved and also was just at a loss for how much these people really care about us (their patients). I have dealt with a lot of doctors in my life and I never have had anyone respond to me this way. It sealed the deal and I decided I was going to stick this out. Prior to that, I had really thought I would not stay the duration.

The rest of the week's treatments were pretty standard. I found out a lot of information and also got to know a few of the patients a lot better. I've started to sleep better and have actually slept through a few nights without waking up to take pain meds. I've not taken several doses of my Lortab but don't get too excited, it's still here and as I mentioned it's a roller coaster ride.

Some other progress that is notable. . I have walked over 25 miles during the 2 weeks I've been here. Just taking the short 1.5 miles round trip to the clinic 3 times a day it adds up. I've lost 4 pounds this week and according to my doctor my skin looks less gaunt and has more color (i.e. - proper blood circulation). Now to the sort of sensitive subjects that I promised to be open about. . I have had 5 normal bowel movements since I started treatment. In case you didn't know my prior score, I had not had a normal bowel movement w/o an enema for the past 4 years. So this is a big deal. After Tuesday I had basically cleaned myself out from the mouth and from the other end due to the dizziness. So I tried a little test and stopped taking all my anti-constipation meds (Colace, flaxseed, etc). Today I had a normal bowel movement and I literally shit my pants due to happiness (ok, not really but it sounded funny). For anyone who thinks being constipated isn't a big deal, you try walking around with all the crap in your system and can't get it out. Ain't fun folks.

Oh yeah, and probably a notable thing here -- for 6 days in a row I have gotten up at 7 AM, taken a shower, gotten dressed/ready/, and walked to clinic. Prior to this, I have not gotten out of bed before noon to 1 PM for the past 2 years w/ only a few necessary exceptions so for me to actually be handling the clinic schedule alone is nothing short of a miracle.

Now some social progress. As you all are aware, I hated it here as of last week. Well, I have finally started adjusting. First was a random circumstance that turned out to be really cool. On Thursday I was home from treatment by noon and quite tired. The night before we got some new neighbors. . an awesome couple from the Netherlands. They had flown into Vegas and had rented an RV to drive up to San Francisco and then back down on Highway 1. They had fiasco after fiasco up until leaving Las Vegas. They got to South Lake Tahoe (SLT) and figured they'd rent bicycles to get around for the day or 2 they were staying here. Well, SLT being so cool as it is, the rentals were *ridiculous*. . $9 an hour and no rentals over night. They then were stuck at an RV park and had already paid to stay the allotted nights. So I told them to take my car and go and have fun. They thought I was nuts but I believe in paying it forward as much as possible.

I finally convinced them to take the car and told them to just come home whenever and leave the keys under the seat & lock the door. Ok, I will admit, I figured I had their RV as collateral. . but I knew they were cool. Last night they came knocking on my door and gave me a beautiful terra cotta pot filled with flowers -- the exact ones I miss so much from home. I also had mentioned in passing that I loved hummingbirds and they had no idea what that meant but they found a beautiful, green blown glass hummingbird feeder and bought it for me. They stayed over and we talked until 12:30 AM. I was tired but went to bed knowing I had met 2 people who will be friends for life. It was a good feeling.

Today I made 2 connections that surprised me. First, I mentioned a young man at the clinic that I called 'Mark'. Anyway, today Mark and I had the most personal and unbiased talk about religion. He comes from a Mormon perspective, as I come from a Wiccan perspective. We not only met in the middle but I realized that I had a lot of perceptions about the Mormon religion that were just not true at all. I'm not talking about crazy off-shoot sects with polygamy, I'm talking about things like thinking that Mormons thought that their religion was the only religion and if you weren't Mormon you went to hell. I was *totally* wrong on all of that and I was actually quite impressed with many of the basic tenets of their belief system. I even asked for a copy of them because it fascinates me. I gave Mark a lift home so I could meet his wife before she left back to home but she was busy with their new baby so I said I'd meet her another time. He leaves in 2 weeks and I really think I will cry when he leaves as I feel like I met a really good person who cares not just about humanity but also about me. We also have the bond of FM and although we hate the reason, there is some what of a silver lining. In my upcoming year+ of hibernation maybe I'll take a class about ancient and modern day religions. . seems to really interest me.

The last social adjustment I had was that of an 11 year old girl, whom I'll call 'Kristen'. She is a granddaughter of a lady who attends the clinic and she is staying with them for the summer. To make a long story short, she is from a very dysfunctional family and believes her dad wants nothing to do w/ her. After hearing her full story I realize that her mother took him to court to release him of his parental rights. She has a lot of problems such as ADD and usually I do not bond with children. However, this young lady just got to me. I was super tired after dinner and she was outside talking with my dad and some other neighbors. She ended up coming inside and sitting on my bed talking to me for 2 hours and sharing her secrets with me (I had to even shut the door). She is a beautiful young lady who has no self esteem and from what I can tell is not getting an validation from home. I feel compelled to be her friend, or some sort of mentor for her and we decided to write letters via snail mail for the next few years. I promised her that when she was of legal age I would help her find her dad. I know I just met her but I swear that I will keep my promise to her come hell or high water. She isn't some charity case, but rather, a diamond in the rough. I really saw a connection with her when we interacted with my cats. I told her she needed to be very quiet in order for my cats (Mojo and Matt) to let her pet them. She knows she has ADD and actually has learned how to calm herself to not get overly excited or start talking non-stop (she thought that doing this self-calming was wrong and stupid and I had to explain to her that most adults are unable to achieve that kind of hold over their emotional system--see what I mean about lack of self confidence and no validation??). I honestly did not think the cats would respond but she really calmed herself down and they both allowed her to pet them. . Matt even purred for her!! At that point she said words I have felt were the basis of my entire belief system which were, 'I think animals are pure souls and not messed up like humans' . Admittedly, I would have dropped the last part but she gets it and I can see that she has complete potential to make sure her life doesn't run off track (given her family situation I can see why that would be of concern). I felt a very strong bond with her and have encouraged her to come by anytime (something I won't even do with my best friends at home). . and I am not only charmed by this young soul but am also humbled. She has had a hell of a time and not just from what she told me, I'd heard some of this from her grandparents. I see this personality and want to have self confidence brewing inside her and I hope to be a major player in seeing that young lady emerge. She asked if she could call me "Mo Mo" -- not sure why but it was really endearing to me.

I guess with all the driving around this week I have finally found the pretty spots of SLT and did finally break down and take some photos of my surroundings and sent them to my close friends.

So, with that being said, it's been a week of adjustments of all kinds and who knows what next week will bring.

l_l